my dear friend,

sometimes i hate myself.

sometimes i hate my voice and my personality and my looks and everything that makes me, me. sometimes i’m like that.

sometimes certain things can almost trigger an anxiety attack.

sometimes i will say something and hate hate hate it immediately, wanting to take it back but knowing i can’t.

BUT

I know that this hatred stems from comparison. I compare myself to others and I’m terrified of never meeting the standards I set for myself, or rather, the standards society sets for myself.

My feelings are valid, but the reasons behind them are not.

I care way too much about what other people think about me. I feel the need to somehow uphold this picture perfect representation of myself, when we all know that’s not true, because no one is perfect.

SO

My dear friend,

Sometimes I hate myself.

But sometimes I also love myself.

People go through phases and seasons, and so do I.

I am tired of being stuck in this cycle of self-hatred;

I am sick of being sad and anxious all the time.

I want out.

YET

Aren’t we our biggest critics? Aren’t we the ones who are the most likely to belittle ourselves and tear ourselves down before anyone else can do it?

This isn’t a I wasn’t fired, I quit situation. It’s not like that. It’s not a competition to see who can hurt you first, yourself or someone else.

There are people who love you the way you are. There are people who will support you no matter what. I personally believe that there’s a Creator who loves you the way you are and has designed you with a purpose.

You’re the only one of, well, you, who exists in the world — so doesn’t that mean that comparing yourself to other people is useless? Perhaps someone out there is comparing themself to you, too.

Comparison’s not a healthy game to play, because there are no winners — none at all.

SO

My dear friend,

Even though you may hate yourself sometimes,

Remember that there are people who care.

Remember that you are worthy of respect.

Remember that although you are flawed, you are perfectly valid.

So try not to compare yourself to everyone else.

Try not to worry about what other people think of you —

Because if we’re real, they’re probably focused on themselves, too —

Wondering what everyone else is thinking.

Remember that it might just be a season to go through

A chapter to live through

An episode that’ll end.

Remember that it will get better someday.

Make your mark,